Books on Getting to Know Mexico!

Ten of the Most Important Words in Mexico
Key Terms that Help Explain Why Mexicans
Think and Behave the Way They Do
Boyé Lafayette De Mente
PREFACE
All languages are reflections of the emotional, spiritual and intellectual character of the people who created them, and that the older, more structured and more exclusive a society and its language, the more terms it has that are pregnant with cultural nuances that control the attitudes and behavior of the people.
Here are brief introductions to 10 Mexican terms that fit this description.

1) Mexicanos (Meh-he-KAH-nohs) / MexicansIn another of my books—Why Mexicans Think & Behave They Way They Do!— I quote the popular Mexican saying: Como Mexico no hay dos! (Coh-moh MEH-he-coh no aye dohss!) – “There is no other country like Mexico!” – and this is true in a racial, ethnic and cultural sense.
To begin with, the character of Mexicans is made up of a blend of Indian, Moorish, and Spanish authoritarianism combined with medieval Catholicism, which produced a society steeped in religious rituals, personalism, machoism, a tendency for violence and—surprisingly perhaps—“an inherently sad-joyful nature that manifests in singing, dancing and art.”
As a result of this extraordinary mixture of cultures and spiritual cults Mexico’s traditional values and morals were forged in a caldron of aggressive religious intolerance, corruption, racism, male chauvinism, and an elitist political system that connived with the Church to keep ordinary people ignorant and powerless, and to deny them the most basic human rights.
This was the Mexico that existed from the early 1500s until the early 1900s when a
revolution by the poor and downtrodden people swept away the power of the Church, and initiated a very slow process of reforming the government that is still going on today.
Most of the inhuman social policies of discrimination that were characteristic of Mexico for so many generations have been dramatically changed. But economic inequalities and endemic corruption are still embedded in the culture.
On a personal basis, however, the positive elements in the character of Mexicans generally outweigh the negative factors, making the average Mexican thoughtful, generous, kind, given to the pleasures of life, and incredibly proud of being Mexican.
This pride is something that most Americans are either not aware of, or ignore—and few Americans are fully familiar with the early history of Mexican-American relations. In addition to having invaded Mexico twice and having seized over half of the country’s national territory, until relatively recent times Americans living along the U.S.-Mexico border typically treated Mexicans with arrogant disdain—if not outright contempt.
For most present-day Americans Mexico is still an “undiscovered country,” and it is not easy to know because, as Mexicans say, it is unique. It must be experienced over a period of time, without reservations or prejudices—and one must be intimately familiar with the history of the country—to fully understand and appreciate the richness of its unique culture; to truly know what it means to be Mexican, the good and the bad.
The following terms go a long way toward explaining why Mexicans think and behave the way they do—and why it is important for Americans and others to see beyond the negative image that has long been attached to the word “Mexican.”

2) Moralidad (Moh-rah-lee-dahd) / Circumstantial EthicsOne of the elements of Mexican culture that has traditionally caused a great deal of friction between Mexicans and Americans in particular is that morality in Mexico has never been a black-and-white proposition. It has, in fact, been situational, depending on the circumstances of the time and place.
The reason for this is because from its inception in the early 1520s the Mexico that we think of today had no laws—religious or secular—that protected the rights of ordinary people. Both the Church and all levels of government were predatory, using the people, taking from them, and often abusing them in terrible ways.
Because the people had no system of security they could depend upon they had to react to each situation that arose on the basis of what would be least likely to bring harm to them, and most likely to help them. They were forced to become experts at creating morality on the spot.
The heritage of this long history of religious and secular abuse has not fully disappeared from Mexico and continues to give business and social relations a unique Mexican color and tone. But, that is not to say there are no people in Mexico who behave in a truly moral manner. There are—especially in the poor classes and among women.
As in virtually all societies, Mexican women are generally more rational and moral than the men because they must deal with the realities of life on a daily basis, while the men tend to live in a virtual reality that they themselves create out of the legacy of their bastardized history.

3) Dignidad (Deeg-nee-DAHD) / The Importance of DignityDuring the nearly 400 years that the overwhelming majority of Indians and Mestizos (Mixed-bloods) of Mexico had few if any rights of full citizenship—and often not even the right to be treated as human beings—they had few choices in the way they behaved. One of these choices, which they gradually copied from their Spanish overlords, was an exaggerated sense of dignidad (deee-ne-DAHD) or dignity.
With their behavior almost totally controlled by the Church and their elite Spanish overlords from the 1520s until the early 1800s and from then until the early 1900s by imperial dictators and their henchmen, ordinary Mexicans began to compensate for their slave-like social and political status and their abject poverty by developed an extreme sense of pride and dignity.
For many generations this sense of pride and dignity resulted in Mexico being one of the most violent societies on the planet. Men carried guns and knives and used them at the slightest hint of an insult. It was not until well into the 20th century that the majority of Mexican men stopped carrying weapons at all times.
Personal dignidad is still one of the most important cultural factors in the lives of Mexicans, and men in particular often go to extraordinary lengths to protect their “face”—their image of themselves as men.
It is therefore important for foreigners visiting Mexico and dealing with Mexicans abroad to be aware of this special sensitivity and take pains not to insult the dignidad of Mexicans.

4) Respeto (Ray-SPAY-toh) / RespectOver the years I have asked many Mexicans to tell me the most important word in the Mexican language. Most men have automatically said respeto (ray-SPAY-toh), “respect” without having to think about it.
The extraordinary importance of the role of respect in the lives of Mexicans today is a natural outgrowth of 400 years of history when ordinary Mexicans were shown no respect at all by the elite religious, government and military forces that ruled them.
Disrespectful treatment by the social, economic and political elite over the generations created an intense hunger for respect in the mindset of common Mexicans—and was passed on from one generation to the next.
This hunger for respect fueled the Mexican emphasis on dignified behavior that was also an integral part of their character. Still today there are few if any things that are more likely to upset Mexicans than failure to show them respect.
Being aware of the Mexican need for respect, and how to respond to it, is one of the first lessons that foreign businesspeople must learn if they want to succeed in Mexico.
This does not mean that foreigners need to flatter Mexicans in order to get along with them and work with them cooperatively. It simply means that they want and expect to be treated with courtesy and good will.

5) Cortesia (Cohr-tay-SEE-ah) / The Role of Courtesy The higher the social level of Mexicans the more courteous they tend to be—but even the poorest Mexicans typically behave in an exceptionally courteous manner—especially when compared to Americans.
The exceptional cortesia (cohr-tay-SEE-ah) of Mexicans had some of its roots in the
rituals of the Catholic Church brought to Mexico from the 1500s on, and in the dignified manners and customs of the early Spanish overlords who often imitated the etiquette of the Royal Court of Spain.
But long before the arrival of the conquistadors who conquered Mexico, the Aztecs and other Indians of Mexico had developed even more dignified societies than the Europeans, with sophisticated manners that were both prescribed and enforced.
These elements, again combined with the fact that for more than 400 years common Mexicans were forced to create a virtual reality for themselves, resulted in courtesy becoming a primary trait in the character of Mexicans.
Modern-day younger Mexicans, fed a diet of American and Mexican pop culture, are losing some of the legacy of cortesia, but among the general population it is still significant enough that it remains a distinguishing characteristic of Mexicans and adds a special charm to life in the country.

6) La Verdad (Lah-vahr-DAHD) / The TruthJust as there is Mexican time and American time, there is also Mexican truth and American truth. And again, this element in Mexican culture is a product of the history of the country.
As noted above, the common people of Mexico endured for some 400-plus years in a society in which they were not in control of their lives. Instead, they were subject to the will and the whims of religious leaders, dictatorial leaders, a ruthless military and a corrupt police force.
In this environment, la veradad (lah vahr-DAD) was whatever would protect them from the arbitrary and often brutal dictates of the people who ruled the country for their own benefit—not that of the common people.
It thus became automatic for the common people to stretch the truth or ignore it altogether in their relationships with others who had any kind of power over them—from the clergy to work bosses, and in particular representatives of local, regional and national authorities.
Still today common Mexicans will tell you that the laws of the country that are supposed to protect them are like rubber—always subject to being stretched by those charged with enforcing them.
Some Mexicans still today will automatically respond with the partial truth or no truth at all even when there is no immediate threat to them. But better education and more real personal freedom are slowly changing this built-in behavior.
For foreigners doing business with Mexicans the way to avoid having to deal with part-truth or no truth is to develop a solid relationship of respect and trust with the individuals concerned.

7) Responsabilidad (Ray-spon-sah-bee-lee-dahd) / ResponsibilityFor most of the 300-year reign of Spanish overlords in Mexico they treated Indians as if they were incapable of reasoning and therefore incapable of being personally responsible for anything.
And for the first 200 or so years of this strange time the overlords refused to allow the growing number of Mestizos (Spanish-Indian mixed-bloods) to have any significant degree of responsibility because they feared them. [The number of mix-bloods in Mexican ballooned exponentially after the Spanish conquered the country because it was official policy for the conquerors to impregnate as many Indian women as possible.]
This generations-long policy of denying Indians and Mestizos the opportunity to take responsibility left the bulk of Mexico’s population inexperienced in handling responsibility and extremely reluctant to do so.
It became natural for workmen to wait for precise orders from their bosses before doing anything—and often when something went wrong they would remain silent, waiting for the boss to discover the problem and give them new orders.
Freedom from Spain in 1821 did not significantly change the culture that the Spaniards had forged. Most Mexicans were to remain poverty-stricken and powerless for 100-plus more years, and subject to a degree of authoritarianism that prevented them from taking responsibility.
Still today foreign managers in Mexico must deal with the reluctance of workers to take personal responsibility for their actions, but this cultural factor is also changing rapidly with better education and the spread of American influence in the country.
As with la verdad, it is a matter of developing a good relationship based on trust and respect.

8) Simpatico (Seem-PAH-tee-coh) / The Sympathy SyndromeMexicans invariable rank the word simpatico (seem-PAH-tee-coh) among the five most important words in the Mexican language—and most English-speaking people immediately assume that the words means “being sympathetic,” and let it go at that.
But in its Mexican context being simpatico means a lot more than just being sympathetic. That definition, in fact, hardly touches on the real cultural nuances of the term.
In my book Why Mexicans Think and Behave the Way They Do! I explain that the term goes way beyond the English connotation of the word; that it infers that a simpatico person is also loyal, trustworthy and supportive, and can be counted on in times of trouble to do everything possible to help family and friends.
A simpatico person is one who understands your situation and agrees with your viewpoint—a concept that Americans and other English-speaking people do not necessarily relate to being sympathetic.
We often take the position that we are sympathetic about a problem, but in many cases our reaction is it’s your problem, not ours, and you are on your own. That is not the Mexican way, and for this reason Mexicans feel that Americans are not as humane, not as generous, as we like to think we are.
To qualify for being described as simpatico in Mexican terms you have to be willing to go all the way.

9) Machismo (Mah-CHEES-moh) / The Cult of MasculinityMexican writers like the great Octavio Paz say that Mexico’s famous (or infamous) machismo (mah-CHEES-moh) cult of male masculinity was a direct result of the Spanish overlords exercising their power to have sexual relations with any Indian or Mestizo female that caught their eye.
Prevented from taking any action when they saw their daughters, girl friends and wives being sexually used by the overlords, the Mestizos in particular created a new world of hyper sexuality for themselves, taking their normal sexuality to the extremes and becoming more aggressive toward women and more demanding in their relationships.
This attitude typically resulted in men becoming intensely angry when any women rejected their advances and often mounting elaborate campaigns to have the women one way or the other. Another side of this fierce sexuality was that once the men had the women they had targeted their ardor often vanished and they walked away, resulting in huge numbers of children being born to young unmarried girls.
Most Mexican men are still caught up in their macho image of themselves, but it is now generally much less hyper than it was for so many generations, and the higher one goes up the social ladder the more it is cloaked in sophisticated etiquette and often elaborate courting rituals.
As in the past the machoism of Mexican men does not always lead to marriage, so there is still a disproportionate number of children born out of wedlock.

10) Chistes (Chees-tehs) / Sardonic JokesMexican men, particularly those in the poor classes, have traditionally had a sardonic sense of human that evolved from the helplessness of their social, economic and political situation under the smothering Church, the rapacious government, and the brutality of the law enforcement agencies.
This humor, in the form of chistes (chees-tehs) or jokes, was used to help the men put up with their situation and was invariable aimed at institutions and leaders that controlled their lives and made it difficult or impossible for them to realize their ambitions for a better life.
The Catholic Church was one of the institutions that was most often slammed by this humor because it exercised such pervasive control over the poor and disenfranchised—especially the women who generally speaking were the only ones deeply influenced by the precepts of the Church.
The next most popular subject for sardonic humor in recent times has been politicians and bureaucrats who are primarily out to enrich themselves and their families. As in the United States, lawyers in Mexico are also a favorite target of biting humor.
Much of the male humor in Mexico, among the poor as well as the middle and upper classes, is (not surprisingly) sexual in nature. It is also often self-deprecating, which takes out some of the sting.
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For a comprehensive analysis of the business-oriented Mexican character based on key words see my books, Why Mexican’s Think & Behave the Way They Do!, available from Amazon.com.
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Copyright © 2013 by Boyé Lafayette De Mente. All rights reserved.

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Boyé Lafayette De Mente has been involved with Asia since the late 1940s as a member of a U.S. intelligence agency, journalist and editor. He is a graduate of Jōchi University in Tokyo, Japan and Thunderbird School of Global Management in Glendale, Arizona, USA. In addition to books on the business practices, social behavior and languages of China, Japan, Korea and Mexico he has written extensively about the plague of male dominance and the moral collapse of the U.S. and the Western world in general.

Recent books include: CHINA Understanding & Dealing with the Chinese Way of Doing Business; JAPAN Understanding & Dealing with the NEW Japanese Way of Doing Business; AMERICA’S FAMOUS HOPI INDIANS; ARIZONA’S LORDS OF THE LAND [the Navajos] and SPEAK JAPANESE TODAY – A Little Language Goes a Long Way! To see a full list of his 60-plus books go to: http://www.authorsonlinebookshop.com. All of his titles are available from Amazon.com.

This title is oriented toward both people with a general interest in Mexico and businesspeople.

Stories about Arizona, from the 20-plus Indian tribes who arrived thousands of years ago, the Spaniards in the early 1600s, the Mexicans soon after and finally European Americans in the 1830s [trappers looking for beaver pelts to send back east for hats!], cattlemen, cowboys, rustlers, gunslingers, homesteaders, etc. along with the state’s extraordinary attractions. An ideal handbook for visitors and residents alike. Available from Amazon.com.

Books on Getting to Know Japan, and More!

All of these titles on Japan, and more, are available from Amazon.com. For an example of the insights provided see the following 10 key words.

Ten of the Most Important Words in Japan
Insights that will Help You Understand And Deal with the Japanese
Boyé Lafayette De Mente
PREFACE
All languages are reflections of the emotional, spiritual and intellectual character of the people who created them., and that the older, more structured and more exclusive a society and its language, the more terms it has that are pregnant with cultural nuances that control the attitudes and behavior of the people.
Here are brief introductions to 10 Japanese terms that are especially important.

1) Wa (Wah) / HarmonyWa (wah) expresses a Shinto concept of harmony between man, nature and all things in nature, and was what the Chinese called the Japanese islands long before the advent of Japan as a unified country.
In the 7th century A.D. Japan’s reigning Imperial Regent issued a series of edicts that have since been referred to as the country’s first “constitution.” The first of these proclamations was that wa was to be the foundation of Japanese society.
While wa has traditionally been translated into English as “harmony,” it means much more than that in its Japanese context. In short, it means not doing anything that causes friction or upsets people or nature, and actively doing the things that ensure and sustain peaceful, cooperative, harmonious relationships.
In other words, wa means “Japanese style” harmony—not harmony in the Western English sense of the word.
During the 1960s and 70s when Japan’s economic engine was running at full speed and was destined to make the small island nation the second largest economy in the world the Japanese incessantly attributed their amazing growth to the existence of wa in business, in government, in the educational system, and throughout society.
All of Japan’s traditional arts and crafts, etiquette, formal speech, cultural practices, etc. are infused with the essence of wa—of Japanese style harmony. As fellow writer Robert Whiting so eloquently noted in his book You Gotta Have Wa!, even the way the Japanese played the game of baseball was also based on maintaining wa among all of the players on both teams—which often meant such things as taking the best players out of a game to avoid embarrassing the other team with high scores.
Still today to function effectively in Japan, foreigners must learn how to deal with the Japanese concept and practice of wa.

2) Amae (Ah-my) / Indulgent LoveVery early in the history of the Japanese the concept of amae (ah-my), which I describe in my book Japan’s Cultural Code Words as “indulgent love,” became a primary principle in the culture and one of the foundation of all relationships. Its full meaning in a culture sense refers to being able to take advantage of other people in a cooperative spirit with the unstated commitment that they can do the same to you when the need arises.
The principle of amae, which no doubt derived from Shinto, takes precedence over egoistic feelings and the natural human instinct of selfishness, and is designed to ensure that society will function smoothly and efficiently.
Of course, this is an idealized concept of the desired attitudes and behavior of human beings—and one that has been a key aspect of many religions and philosophies—but in Japan where it meshed perfectly with the precepts of Buddhism and Confucianism, it actually became an integral part of the Japanese culture.
Both the word amae and the concept it refers to are still very much a part of the cultural make-up of the Japanese, and still plays a primary role in virtually all relationships—particularly so in business and politics.
You might say amae is a much stronger and more important element than the Western concept of “I will scratch your back if you will scratch mine.” What it does in Japan is give the Japanese a great deal more leeway in how they handle their relationships with business partners and political allies.
They can, for example “break” some of the provisions of an agreement or contract when it is expedient to do so without unduly upsetting the other party because the other party has the “right” to do the same thing when it benefits them.
Learning how to use and accept amae behavior is a valuable asset in dealing with the Japanese.

3) Kata (Kah-tah) / Form/ProcessMany foreigners are familiar with the Japanese term kata (kah-tah) from its use in the marital arts where it describes the forms or processes used in training. But kata is far more important to understanding and dealing with the Japanese than this implies.
The whole of Japan’s traditional culture, from personal etiquette to how one learned to do all of the routine things in life, was based on precise kata—on exact prescribed ways of doing them. The interjection of personal preference or deviation for any reason from these prescribed kata was taboo.
There was a way of eating (tabe-kata), a way of reading (yomi-kata), a way of writing (kaki-kata), and way of walking (aruki-kata), a way of talking (hanashi-kata), a way of doing things (yari-kata), and so on across the entire spectrum of Japanese behavior.
This prescribed and enforced conformity to exact ways of doing things had a profound influence on the character and personality of the Japanese—making them homogenous to an extraordinary degree as well as predictable because everybody was taught and trained to do things the same way.
It was also responsible for the remarkable manual skills that have long been typical of the Japanese, for their ability to focus on things with great intensity, and their compulsion to “get things right.”
Still today no one can fully understand and appreciate the typical attitudes and behavior of the Japanese without knowledge of the kata that made them.
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For a comprehensive description of the influence of kata on Japanese behavior and how to deal with them, see my book, KATA—The Key to Understanding & Dealing with the Japanese, available from amazon.com.

4) Aisatsu (Aye-sot-sue) / Formal GreetingsJapan’s traditional etiquette was one of the most structured, refined and sophisticated patterns of behavior ever imposed on any people. From infancy, the Japanese were trained physically and taught verbally how to behave in the prescribed manner.
There was no question about whether or not the young would be trained in etiquette or how they would be trained to behave. It was in integral part of the lifestyle—of being Japanese. Not behaving in the prescribed manner was a serious fault that could get one ostracized, if not eliminated.
The rules and forms involved in aisatus (aye-sot-sue) or “greetings” were especially important between inferiors and superiors. The higher the rank of an individual, the more detailed the prescribed manner of greeting him or her, and the more rigorous the behavior was enforced.
The first Westerners to show up in Japan noted that the behavior of the typical Japanese was the kind one might expect of royalty.
Most young Japanese are no longer trained from infancy in the traditional behavior, but they continue to absorb it from the culture and from witnessing it among adults as they grow up, and most of the traditional forms of etiquette are still followed by adults, particularly in formal situations.
The Westerner who really wants to “fit in” in Japan must learn a number of the more important forms of aisatsu, such as the formal greetings that take place in the business world during New Year’s and on numerous other auspicious occasions, from weddings to funerals.
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For a detailed description of Japanese etiquette, see my book, ETIQUETTE GUIDE TO JAPAN—Know the Rules that Make the Difference, available from amazon.com.

5) San (Sahn) / Mr./Mrs./MissThis simple little word is one of the most important terms in the vocabulary of the Japanese, and using it correctly is also one of the easiest things that foreigners in Japan can do—language-wise that is.
This version of San (Sahn) is the Japanese equivalent of Mr., Mrs. and Miss, and follows either the first name or the family name. In other words, Tanaka San may be Mr. Tanaka, Mrs. Tanaka or Miss Tanaka.
The attachment of San to family names has become so integrated into Japanese culture that is more like a part of the name than an honorific or term of respect. Adults who have known each other from childhood habitually attach the san to each others’ names when addressing each other in virtually all situations except when they are out drinking together and get a little “high”—at which time they are culturally permitted to “dispense with etiquette.”
In addition to people in general, San is also commonly attached to the first names of family members and close friends, especially when girls and young women are being addressed. Even mothers are inclined to attach san to first names when they address their children, especially when they are irritated by them or angry with them.
San also morphs into Chan (Chahn) when one is addressing family members and close friends by their first names. In other words, Yoshiko becomes Yoshiko Chan (Yoh-she-koh Chahn). It is also customary to use Chan instead of San when using the diminutive of first names—but again this is only among families and very close friends, and is generally limited to females. The diminutive of Mariko is Mari, which becomes Mari Chan. [This is the equivalent of calling Robert “Bobby.”]
The point is, if you do not use Mr. Mrs. or Miss when addressing Japanese it is good manners to use san—and will likely be regarded as rude if you do not. Addressing a girl as Chan is very intimate, however, and should not be done by men unless they are close friends and the situation is informal.

6) O’kyaku san (Oh-k’yahk San) / Guest/CustomerThe Japanese have long been famous for their attention to detail and the quality of their service to customers. This is especially true in the hospitality industries (hotels, inns, restaurants), in the entertainment industries (cabarets, clubs, inns that call in geisha, etc.), and in all forms of the retail business.
The reason for this level of attention and service goes back to the days of the shoguns, when the custom of royal service demanded by the shoguns, their ministers, feudal domain lords and samurai warriors eventually resulted in common people expecting and dispensing the same level of service in their own lives.
A key factor in the spread of refined service among the common people was that for over 200 years (1630s to 1867) the feudal lords of Japan were required to spend every other year in Edo (Tokyo), the shogunate capital, to serve at the Shogun’s Court. This meant that they had to travel to and from their domains, with large retinues of attendants and warriors, stopping over nightly at inns along the way.
The feudal lords, like the shoguns whose behavior and expectations they imitated, required the highest possible level of service from the employees of the hundreds of inns that dotted the country, resulting in the custom of service reaching levels in Japan that was unknown in other countries.
The essence of the level of service that is common in Japan’s business world is reflected in the word O’kyaku San (Oh-k’yahk San), the primary meaning of which is “guest.” In other words, customers are not just customers. They are “guests,” with all of the cultural nuances this entails in behavior-conscious Japan.

7) Giri (Ghee-ree) / ObligationsConfucianism was introduced into Japan early in the history of the country, and was to have a profound influence on Japanese culture. Among the most important tenants of Confucian philosophy were the obligations children owe their parents, the young owe their elders, students owe to their teachers, and that all people owe to their superiors.
These obligations were natural and inherent. Broadly speaking, you were born with them as a result of your automatic relationship with your parents, elders, teachers, bosses, “lords” and so on.
As the generations passed these principles were enforced by a number of powerful social, economic and political sanctions, resulting in them becoming so deeply embedded in the culture that they were never questioned.
Interestingly, the most powerful of these sanctions was shame. Over time the Japanese became so sensitive about being shamed that avoiding shame became an overriding principle in their behavior; so powerful that many of them chose death—and often the death of their families—over shame.
The ancient set of obligations that Confucius prescribed for people have diminished dramatically in modern-day Japan, but they have not yet disappeared and are readily discernable in many situations, both social and professional.
Foreigners dealing with the Japanese on any level must be cautious about putting them in a position where they feel shamed—and remember that there have traditionally been two sides to being shamed. One was to commit suicide (which is now out), and the other side was to get revenge.

(8) Tatemae/Honne (Tah-tay-my/Hoan-nay) / Façades & the Real ThingThe essence of Japan’s traditional culture, which made being shamed one of the most terrible things that could befall a person, made a highly refined and structured etiquette mandatory and did not accept failure, resulted in the Japanese being extremely cautious in what they said and how they said it, especially when communicating with superiors and people with whom they had no binding ties or did not know.
This resulted in it becoming a deeply engrained habit for them to hedge their bets (so to speak) when communicating with others, meaning that they typically did not come right out and say what they thought in discussions that were more than just informal conversations.
In considering things presented to them and in negotiations it became customary to first present a tatemae (tah-tay-my), a facade or false front, first to protect themselves from any negative reaction, and second as a ploy to draw the other person out.
After a suitable period of both sides sounding each other out with facades, the next step was to present their honne (hoan-nay), meaning their real thoughts, their real intentions.
The Japanese discovered a long time ago that Americans and Europeans generally present their real intentions first (lay their cards on the table), giving the Japanese an advantage in negotiating with them.
The tatemae and honne custom is still alive and well in Japan.

(9) Kao (Kah-oh) / FaceThe Japanese are exceptionally sensitive to insults or slights of any kind, including things that Americans and many others ignore or laugh off. In such matters of protecting our name, reputation, etc., we have very thick skins, while the Japanese often seem to have no protective skin at all.
This cultural element apparently derived from the fact that until modern times (post 1945) the Japanese were generally not allowed to express their individualism, their own preferences, except in ways that were traditionally sanctioned by their society—meaning doing only things their society approved of, and only then when they were done in the accepted Japanese way.
This meant that one of the few meaningful things that the Japanese had going for them was their kao (kah-oh), their “face,” their reputation. Losing face for the Japanese was therefore a very serious situation. When their face was trod on (so to speak), they were not only officially or formally allowed to complain they could in many situations, get even—including officially sanctioned attempts to kill the offenders.
Kao and haji (hah-jee), shame, were thus inextricably intertwined in Japanese culture, and still today play a significant role in Japanese life.
Foreigners dealing with the Japanese, for whatever purpose, should keep this cultural factor in mind. When it is impossible to avoid saying or doing something that is very likely to smudge the face of a person, you can mitigate its effects by apologizing in advance. [Accepting responsibility and apologizing has great weight in Japanese culture.]

10) Enryo (En-rio) / Holding BackAny foreign lecturer or speaker who has ever given a presentation in Japan has almost without fail encountered the Japanese custom of enryo (en-rio), meaning “to hold back, “to say nothing.”
The practice of enryo has been a characteristic of the Japanese since early in their history because calling attention to themselves, speaking up, etc., was traditionally a very dangerous thing to do—and a trait that until very recent times the Japanese paraded as one of their primary virtues.
Of course, this is the opposite of the Western practice, and is therefore one of those areas where cross-cultural exchanges are sometimes disappointing to both sides—to the Japanese because from their viewpoint Westerners talk too much, and from the Western viewpoint because the Japanese don’t speak up.
There is now a great debate going on in Japan about the disadvantages they face in their foreign affairs because they do not speak up clearly or often enough—and leaders in many fields are preaching a new mantra, saying that the Japanese must learn to speak up or continue to be taking advantage of in their relations with Western countries.
But there is often an advantage to Japanese negotiators when they sit quietly and wait. The foreign negotiators invariably reveal their position up front as fast as they can, unintentionally giving the Japanese an edge.
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Copyright © 2013 by Boyé Lafayette De Mente. All rights reserved.

_________________________________________
Boyé Lafayette De Mente has been involved with Asia since the late 1940s as a member of a U.S. intelligence agency, journalist and editor. He is a graduate of Jōchi University in Tokyo, Japan and Thunderbird School of Global Management in Glendale, Arizona, USA. In addition to books on the business practices, social behavior and languages of China, Japan, Korea and Mexico he has written extensively about the plague of male dominance and the moral collapse of the U.S. and the Western world in general.

Recent books include: CHINA Understanding & Dealing with the Chinese Way of Doing Business; JAPAN Understanding & Dealing with the NEW Japanese Way of Doing Business; AMERICA’S FAMOUS HOPI INDIANS; ARIZONA’S LORDS OF THE LAND [the Navajos] and SPEAK JAPANESE TODAY – A Little Language Goes a Long Way! To see a full list of his 60-plus books go to: http://www.authorsonlinebookshop.com. All of his titles are available from Amazon.com.

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Real-Life Stories of a Teenage Samurai!

Male members of Japan’s famous samurai class, which began evolving at the end of the 12th century, were required to undergo physical, mental and spiritual training that gave them incredible skills in a number of martial arts. By the 1600s, samurai were also expected to become versed in aesthetics, calligraphy, philosophical matters and writing poetry.

 

SABURO: The Saga of a Teenage Samurai are true-to-life stories of a young boy who opts to become a roving shugyosha (shuu-g’yoh-shah), or “samurai in training,” rather than serve a feudal lord, leading him to extraordinary adventures that bring out the culture of his times.

 

Saburo was born in the mid-1600s when the country was ruled by the illustrious Tokugawa line of shoguns who had closed the country off to foreigners except for a tiny detachment of traders in Nagasaki–and had turned their backs on Western guns in favor of the traditional sword.

 

Each story is filled with cultural and historical facts that reveal both negative and positive elements in the lives of the samurai class, with Saburo surmounting those that are negative and eventually finding a master who explains the essence and the purpose of life. It is both an educational and an inspirational read for young people.

 

This book is available from Amazon.com 

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Boyé Lafayette De Mente has been involved with Asia since the late 1940s as a member of a U.S. intelligence agency, journalist and editor. He is a graduate of Jōchi University in Tokyo, Japan and Thunderbird School of Global Management in Glendale, Arizona, USA. In addition to books on the business practices, social behavior and languages of China, Japan, Korea and Mexico he has written extensively about the plague of male dominance and the moral collapse of the U.S. and the Western world in general. Recent books include: CHINA Understanding & Dealing with the Chinese Way of Doing Business; JAPAN Understanding & Dealing with the NEW Japanese Way of Doing Business; AMERICA’S FAMOUS HOPI INDIANS; ARIZONA’S LORDS OF THE LAND [the Navajos] and SPEAK JAPANESE TODAY – A Little Language Goes a Long Way! To see a full list of his 60-plus books go to: www.authorsonlinebookshop.com. All of his titles are available from Amazon.com.