Books on Getting to Know Japan, and More!

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All of these titles on Japan, and more, are available from Amazon.com. For an example of the insights provided see the following 10 key words.

Ten of the Most Important Words in Japan
Insights that will Help You Understand And Deal with the Japanese
Boyé Lafayette De Mente
PREFACE

All languages are reflections of the emotional, spiritual and intellectual character of the people who created them., and that the older, more structured and more exclusive a society and its language, the more terms it has that are pregnant with cultural nuances that control the attitudes and behavior of the people.
Here are brief introductions to 10 Japanese terms that are especially important.

1) Wa (Wah) / HarmonyWa (wah) expresses a Shinto concept of harmony between man, nature and all things in nature, and was what the Chinese called the Japanese islands long before the advent of Japan as a unified country.
In the 7th century A.D. Japan’s reigning Imperial Regent issued a series of edicts that have since been referred to as the country’s first “constitution.” The first of these proclamations was that wa was to be the foundation of Japanese society.
While wa has traditionally been translated into English as “harmony,” it means much more than that in its Japanese context. In short, it means not doing anything that causes friction or upsets people or nature, and actively doing the things that ensure and sustain peaceful, cooperative, harmonious relationships.
In other words, wa means “Japanese style” harmony—not harmony in the Western English sense of the word.
During the 1960s and 70s when Japan’s economic engine was running at full speed and was destined to make the small island nation the second largest economy in the world the Japanese incessantly attributed their amazing growth to the existence of wa in business, in government, in the educational system, and throughout society.
All of Japan’s traditional arts and crafts, etiquette, formal speech, cultural practices, etc. are infused with the essence of wa—of Japanese style harmony. As fellow writer Robert Whiting so eloquently noted in his book You Gotta Have Wa!, even the way the Japanese played the game of baseball was also based on maintaining wa among all of the players on both teams—which often meant such things as taking the best players out of a game to avoid embarrassing the other team with high scores.
Still today to function effectively in Japan, foreigners must learn how to deal with the Japanese concept and practice of wa.

2) Amae (Ah-my) / Indulgent LoveVery early in the history of the Japanese the concept of amae (ah-my), which I describe in my book Japan’s Cultural Code Words as “indulgent love,” became a primary principle in the culture and one of the foundation of all relationships. Its full meaning in a culture sense refers to being able to take advantage of other people in a cooperative spirit with the unstated commitment that they can do the same to you when the need arises.
The principle of amae, which no doubt derived from Shinto, takes precedence over egoistic feelings and the natural human instinct of selfishness, and is designed to ensure that society will function smoothly and efficiently.
Of course, this is an idealized concept of the desired attitudes and behavior of human beings—and one that has been a key aspect of many religions and philosophies—but in Japan where it meshed perfectly with the precepts of Buddhism and Confucianism, it actually became an integral part of the Japanese culture.
Both the word amae and the concept it refers to are still very much a part of the cultural make-up of the Japanese, and still plays a primary role in virtually all relationships—particularly so in business and politics.
You might say amae is a much stronger and more important element than the Western concept of “I will scratch your back if you will scratch mine.” What it does in Japan is give the Japanese a great deal more leeway in how they handle their relationships with business partners and political allies.
They can, for example “break” some of the provisions of an agreement or contract when it is expedient to do so without unduly upsetting the other party because the other party has the “right” to do the same thing when it benefits them.
Learning how to use and accept amae behavior is a valuable asset in dealing with the Japanese.

3) Kata (Kah-tah) / Form/ProcessMany foreigners are familiar with the Japanese term kata (kah-tah) from its use in the marital arts where it describes the forms or processes used in training. But kata is far more important to understanding and dealing with the Japanese than this implies.
The whole of Japan’s traditional culture, from personal etiquette to how one learned to do all of the routine things in life, was based on precise kata—on exact prescribed ways of doing them. The interjection of personal preference or deviation for any reason from these prescribed kata was taboo.
There was a way of eating (tabe-kata), a way of reading (yomi-kata), a way of writing (kaki-kata), and way of walking (aruki-kata), a way of talking (hanashi-kata), a way of doing things (yari-kata), and so on across the entire spectrum of Japanese behavior.
This prescribed and enforced conformity to exact ways of doing things had a profound influence on the character and personality of the Japanese—making them homogenous to an extraordinary degree as well as predictable because everybody was taught and trained to do things the same way.
It was also responsible for the remarkable manual skills that have long been typical of the Japanese, for their ability to focus on things with great intensity, and their compulsion to “get things right.”
Still today no one can fully understand and appreciate the typical attitudes and behavior of the Japanese without knowledge of the kata that made them.
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For a comprehensive description of the influence of kata on Japanese behavior and how to deal with them, see my book, KATA—The Key to Understanding & Dealing with the Japanese, available from amazon.com.

4) Aisatsu (Aye-sot-sue) / Formal GreetingsJapan’s traditional etiquette was one of the most structured, refined and sophisticated patterns of behavior ever imposed on any people. From infancy, the Japanese were trained physically and taught verbally how to behave in the prescribed manner.
There was no question about whether or not the young would be trained in etiquette or how they would be trained to behave. It was in integral part of the lifestyle—of being Japanese. Not behaving in the prescribed manner was a serious fault that could get one ostracized, if not eliminated.
The rules and forms involved in aisatus (aye-sot-sue) or “greetings” were especially important between inferiors and superiors. The higher the rank of an individual, the more detailed the prescribed manner of greeting him or her, and the more rigorous the behavior was enforced.
The first Westerners to show up in Japan noted that the behavior of the typical Japanese was the kind one might expect of royalty.
Most young Japanese are no longer trained from infancy in the traditional behavior, but they continue to absorb it from the culture and from witnessing it among adults as they grow up, and most of the traditional forms of etiquette are still followed by adults, particularly in formal situations.
The Westerner who really wants to “fit in” in Japan must learn a number of the more important forms of aisatsu, such as the formal greetings that take place in the business world during New Year’s and on numerous other auspicious occasions, from weddings to funerals.
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For a detailed description of Japanese etiquette, see my book, ETIQUETTE GUIDE TO JAPAN—Know the Rules that Make the Difference, available from amazon.com.

5) San (Sahn) / Mr./Mrs./MissThis simple little word is one of the most important terms in the vocabulary of the Japanese, and using it correctly is also one of the easiest things that foreigners in Japan can do—language-wise that is.
This version of San (Sahn) is the Japanese equivalent of Mr., Mrs. and Miss, and follows either the first name or the family name. In other words, Tanaka San may be Mr. Tanaka, Mrs. Tanaka or Miss Tanaka.
The attachment of San to family names has become so integrated into Japanese culture that is more like a part of the name than an honorific or term of respect. Adults who have known each other from childhood habitually attach the san to each others’ names when addressing each other in virtually all situations except when they are out drinking together and get a little “high”—at which time they are culturally permitted to “dispense with etiquette.”
In addition to people in general, San is also commonly attached to the first names of family members and close friends, especially when girls and young women are being addressed. Even mothers are inclined to attach san to first names when they address their children, especially when they are irritated by them or angry with them.
San also morphs into Chan (Chahn) when one is addressing family members and close friends by their first names. In other words, Yoshiko becomes Yoshiko Chan (Yoh-she-koh Chahn). It is also customary to use Chan instead of San when using the diminutive of first names—but again this is only among families and very close friends, and is generally limited to females. The diminutive of Mariko is Mari, which becomes Mari Chan. [This is the equivalent of calling Robert “Bobby.”]
The point is, if you do not use Mr. Mrs. or Miss when addressing Japanese it is good manners to use san—and will likely be regarded as rude if you do not. Addressing a girl as Chan is very intimate, however, and should not be done by men unless they are close friends and the situation is informal.

6) O’kyaku san (Oh-k’yahk San) / Guest/CustomerThe Japanese have long been famous for their attention to detail and the quality of their service to customers. This is especially true in the hospitality industries (hotels, inns, restaurants), in the entertainment industries (cabarets, clubs, inns that call in geisha, etc.), and in all forms of the retail business.
The reason for this level of attention and service goes back to the days of the shoguns, when the custom of royal service demanded by the shoguns, their ministers, feudal domain lords and samurai warriors eventually resulted in common people expecting and dispensing the same level of service in their own lives.
A key factor in the spread of refined service among the common people was that for over 200 years (1630s to 1867) the feudal lords of Japan were required to spend every other year in Edo (Tokyo), the shogunate capital, to serve at the Shogun’s Court. This meant that they had to travel to and from their domains, with large retinues of attendants and warriors, stopping over nightly at inns along the way.
The feudal lords, like the shoguns whose behavior and expectations they imitated, required the highest possible level of service from the employees of the hundreds of inns that dotted the country, resulting in the custom of service reaching levels in Japan that was unknown in other countries.
The essence of the level of service that is common in Japan’s business world is reflected in the word O’kyaku San (Oh-k’yahk San), the primary meaning of which is “guest.” In other words, customers are not just customers. They are “guests,” with all of the cultural nuances this entails in behavior-conscious Japan.

7) Giri (Ghee-ree) / ObligationsConfucianism was introduced into Japan early in the history of the country, and was to have a profound influence on Japanese culture. Among the most important tenants of Confucian philosophy were the obligations children owe their parents, the young owe their elders, students owe to their teachers, and that all people owe to their superiors.
These obligations were natural and inherent. Broadly speaking, you were born with them as a result of your automatic relationship with your parents, elders, teachers, bosses, “lords” and so on.
As the generations passed these principles were enforced by a number of powerful social, economic and political sanctions, resulting in them becoming so deeply embedded in the culture that they were never questioned.
Interestingly, the most powerful of these sanctions was shame. Over time the Japanese became so sensitive about being shamed that avoiding shame became an overriding principle in their behavior; so powerful that many of them chose death—and often the death of their families—over shame.
The ancient set of obligations that Confucius prescribed for people have diminished dramatically in modern-day Japan, but they have not yet disappeared and are readily discernable in many situations, both social and professional.
Foreigners dealing with the Japanese on any level must be cautious about putting them in a position where they feel shamed—and remember that there have traditionally been two sides to being shamed. One was to commit suicide (which is now out), and the other side was to get revenge.

(8) Tatemae/Honne (Tah-tay-my/Hoan-nay) / Façades & the Real ThingThe essence of Japan’s traditional culture, which made being shamed one of the most terrible things that could befall a person, made a highly refined and structured etiquette mandatory and did not accept failure, resulted in the Japanese being extremely cautious in what they said and how they said it, especially when communicating with superiors and people with whom they had no binding ties or did not know.
This resulted in it becoming a deeply engrained habit for them to hedge their bets (so to speak) when communicating with others, meaning that they typically did not come right out and say what they thought in discussions that were more than just informal conversations.
In considering things presented to them and in negotiations it became customary to first present a tatemae (tah-tay-my), a facade or false front, first to protect themselves from any negative reaction, and second as a ploy to draw the other person out.
After a suitable period of both sides sounding each other out with facades, the next step was to present their honne (hoan-nay), meaning their real thoughts, their real intentions.
The Japanese discovered a long time ago that Americans and Europeans generally present their real intentions first (lay their cards on the table), giving the Japanese an advantage in negotiating with them.
The tatemae and honne custom is still alive and well in Japan.

(9) Kao (Kah-oh) / FaceThe Japanese are exceptionally sensitive to insults or slights of any kind, including things that Americans and many others ignore or laugh off. In such matters of protecting our name, reputation, etc., we have very thick skins, while the Japanese often seem to have no protective skin at all.
This cultural element apparently derived from the fact that until modern times (post 1945) the Japanese were generally not allowed to express their individualism, their own preferences, except in ways that were traditionally sanctioned by their society—meaning doing only things their society approved of, and only then when they were done in the accepted Japanese way.
This meant that one of the few meaningful things that the Japanese had going for them was their kao (kah-oh), their “face,” their reputation. Losing face for the Japanese was therefore a very serious situation. When their face was trod on (so to speak), they were not only officially or formally allowed to complain they could in many situations, get even—including officially sanctioned attempts to kill the offenders.
Kao and haji (hah-jee), shame, were thus inextricably intertwined in Japanese culture, and still today play a significant role in Japanese life.
Foreigners dealing with the Japanese, for whatever purpose, should keep this cultural factor in mind. When it is impossible to avoid saying or doing something that is very likely to smudge the face of a person, you can mitigate its effects by apologizing in advance. [Accepting responsibility and apologizing has great weight in Japanese culture.]

10) Enryo (En-rio) / Holding BackAny foreign lecturer or speaker who has ever given a presentation in Japan has almost without fail encountered the Japanese custom of enryo (en-rio), meaning “to hold back, “to say nothing.”
The practice of enryo has been a characteristic of the Japanese since early in their history because calling attention to themselves, speaking up, etc., was traditionally a very dangerous thing to do—and a trait that until very recent times the Japanese paraded as one of their primary virtues.
Of course, this is the opposite of the Western practice, and is therefore one of those areas where cross-cultural exchanges are sometimes disappointing to both sides—to the Japanese because from their viewpoint Westerners talk too much, and from the Western viewpoint because the Japanese don’t speak up.
There is now a great debate going on in Japan about the disadvantages they face in their foreign affairs because they do not speak up clearly or often enough—and leaders in many fields are preaching a new mantra, saying that the Japanese must learn to speak up or continue to be taking advantage of in their relations with Western countries.
But there is often an advantage to Japanese negotiators when they sit quietly and wait. The foreign negotiators invariably reveal their position up front as fast as they can, unintentionally giving the Japanese an edge.
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Copyright © 2013 by Boyé Lafayette De Mente. All rights reserved.

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Boyé Lafayette De Mente has been involved with Asia since the late 1940s as a member of a U.S. intelligence agency, journalist and editor. He is a graduate of Jōchi University in Tokyo, Japan and Thunderbird School of Global Management in Glendale, Arizona, USA. In addition to books on the business practices, social behavior and languages of China, Japan, Korea and Mexico he has written extensively about the plague of male dominance and the moral collapse of the U.S. and the Western world in general.

Recent books include: CHINA Understanding & Dealing with the Chinese Way of Doing Business; JAPAN Understanding & Dealing with the NEW Japanese Way of Doing Business; AMERICA’S FAMOUS HOPI INDIANS; ARIZONA’S LORDS OF THE LAND [the Navajos] and SPEAK JAPANESE TODAY – A Little Language Goes a Long Way! To see a full list of his 60-plus books go to: http://www.authorsonlinebookshop.com. All of his titles are available from Amazon.com.

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MISTRESS-KEEPING IN JAPAN – Then and Now!

Do’s & Don’ts!

As in most countries, mistress-keeping in Japan has a long and institutionalized history [at one time the shoguns had access to as many as a thousand ladies-in-waiting; with ritualized customs involving how they chose companions for the night and how the young women were delivered to them].

The custom of mistress-keeping in Japan is no longer officially or socially approved, but it continues nevertheless on a large scale—with many curious elements…which the author describes in detail.

The book covers copious insights into how the nighttime entertainment trades work in Japan, and how they relate to business and politics on an equally massive scale. Good background reading for tourists and businessmen.

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Boyé Lafayette De Mente has been involved with Asia since the late 1940s as a member of a U.S. intelligence agency, journalist and editor. He is a graduate of Jōchi University in Tokyo, Japan and Thunderbird School of Global Management in Glendale, Arizona, USA. In addition to books on the business practices, social behavior and languages of China, Japan, Korea and Mexico he has written extensively about the plague of male dominance and the moral collapse of the U.S. and the Western world in general. Recent books include: CHINA Understanding & Dealing with the Chinese Way of Doing Business; JAPAN Understanding & Dealing with the NEW Japanese Way of Doing Business; AMERICA’S FAMOUS HOPI INDIANS; ARIZONA’S LORDS OF THE LAND [the Navajos] and SPEAK JAPANESE TODAY – A Little Language Goes a Long Way! To see a full list of his 60-plus books go to: www.authorsonlinebookshop.com. All of his titles are available from Amazon.com.